My 4 Year Old Is Biting Again
Biting and Hitting are Common and Should be Corrected Early on
Growing teeth and easily ofttimes detect their way into trouble. Toddlers often bite and hit with little regard for the consequences of their actions. Bitter and striking habits hurt and should exist corrected, before serious harm is done to bodies and to relationships.
1. Empathize the reason behind bitter and hitting
Babies bite and hit. Don't have it personally. Babies do bite the hands (and the nipples) that feed them. Everything babies do revolves effectually their hands and mouth. The easily and teeth are their first social tools, and they larn how to apply them from the responses they get. As soon as teeth erupt and hands flap, babies experiment and use these instruments on different objects to see how it feels. What could be more familiar and available than parents' skin? Babe'southward job is to employ these tools; your task is to teach him how. These early nips and slaps, as awful every bit they look and experience, are playful communications, not aggressive, disrespectful conduct.
Aggressive biting and striking is most common betwixt the ages of 18-months and 2½ years when the child doesn't take the verbal language to communicate his needs. Instead, he communicates through actions. Bitter usually stops every bit the kid's verbal skills grow only striking doesn't.
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Toddlers bite and striking. What are simply socially- incorrect gestures in infants tin if unchecked, become ambitious behaviors in children. That's why you want to purge these from baby's repertoire earlier they become part of the growing child. Children become aggressive in order to release pent-upwards acrimony, to command a situation, to show power, or to protect their turf in a toy squabble. Some children even resort to obnoxious behavior in a desperate effort to suspension through to distant parents.
Virtually aggressive toddler behaviors will lessen once the kid is old enough to communicate past words instead of actions.
ii. Learn sources that trigger bitter and hitting
Know what triggers ambitious behaviors. Keep a journal (at to the lowest degree mental notes) identifying the correlation betwixt how a child acts and the circumstances prompting the action. For case: "Kate flake Suzie during playgroup. Suzie had Kate's favorite ball. It was almost nap time. Lots of kids in a pocket-sized place. Suzie is very snobby."
three. Provide alternatives
Face-slapping is socially-incorrect gesture babies experiment with. Redirect the slapper into a socially-acceptable alternative: "Give me five." Too, redirect nipping: "No biting, ouchie, hurts Mama! (put on your unhappy confront); then redirect the behavior: "Hug mama. That'south nice!" (smile and hug dorsum). One time your kid's face-slapping becomes an expression of frustration (for example, the toddler in your artillery becomes angry and hits you because yous won't let her have candy), yous'll take to bear witness her the natural effect. Firmly but calmly announce "Y'all may not striking" and put her down. She'll still be angry about the candy, so you lot can enunciate that for her.
Do non allow your toddler to employ you equally a punching bag. Requite her the bulletin that you will not let her hurt yous. If you don't let your child to hurt you lot when he'south very immature, he will be less likely to allow others hurt him when he's older. You will be modeling to him how to say "no" to being hitting, for example, by holding up a paw to cease the blow but not hitting dorsum. If your one-and-a-half-year-sometime bangs his toy hammer on the heads of other babies in the group, remove all objects that he can hit with. Bear witness and tell him not to hit and requite him an alternative gesture: "Be nice, pat infant" every bit you gently guide his patting hand.
4. Don't bite back
"Merely the child needs to larn that bitter hurts," you may reason. Yes, only there's no style your kid will decide that she shouldn't bite if yous seize with teeth. Effort this alternative tooth-for-tooth method: Take your child aside and inquire her to let you lot show her how teeth experience on the skin. Press your kid's forearm against her upper teeth equally if she were biting herself, non in an angry revengeful way, but as a parent making a bespeak, "See, bitter hurts!" Give this lesson immediately afterwards he bites you or someone else. You want your child to learn to exist sensitive to how others experience – an early lesson in empathy.
5. Don't nowadays confusing and alien messages
Katie hits Tommy. Katie's mother (embarrassed and irritated) apace goes over and smacks Katie on the arm saying "Mustn't hitting." Are you lot as confused as Katie is right now? Accept y'all ever been driven by embarrassment or anger to do something illogical? We all have. So plan in your listen alee of time what you volition exercise when your kid hits someone.
6. Encourage empathy
You notice one child hits (pushes or kicks) another to become a toy. Evidence and tell an alternative way to get the toy. "We don't hit other people. If you want the toy, wait until your friend is finished with it or ask Mommy and I'll set the share timer. When I want something from you I don't hit you, I enquire you nicely." If the hitter doesn't cooperate, enquire the victim to say, "I'thousand not playing with you anymore until y'all say you lot're distressing and terminate hit." Two-twelvemonth-olds may not exist able to say all these words, merely they'll understand them; and so you say the words for them and follow through with the consequence. Also, impress upon the biter: "How would you feel if Tommy bit yous."
7. Use fourth dimension-outs to calm the situation
"Biting hurts, and it'southward wrong to injure. You are going to sit down by me." Usually, by two years of historic period, the kid can brand the connection between being aggressive and the consequences. Encourage your kid to say "I'm lamentable." If he'southward not angry anymore, he might want to give a kiss or hug.
viii. Model nonaggression
A child who lives with aggression becomes aggressive. How do you communicate disappointment, handle conflicts, and get your point across? Assailment is contagious. Toddlers and immature children also selection upward aggressive behavior from older siblings. If the younger children encounter the older ones hitting each other, they conclude that'southward the manner y'all care for other people. Make this a teachable feel for the older children. Point out their modeling and tell them for their own benefit and the benefit of the little ones to clean up their act.
Grabbing is a common aggressive behavior in toddlers and young preschoolers. (Sentry that yous don't unintentionally model this by snatching things from little hands) Calmly explain why he can't have the item he grabbed and ask him to mitt information technology back to the other kid or give it to you lot. You may have to offer a replacement for what he has to give up. If your kid is nearly to damage something valuable or is likely to injure himself with an object, apply a no-nonsense vox and show by your body language yous wait him to give it up immediately.
9. Avoid setups that may outcome in biting and hitting
Avoid situations that bring out the worst in kids. At a birthday party, a female parent set up a scavenger hunt for a bunch of boys — inside her house, of all places. To fuel the frenzy, she offered a prize for the winner. Yous can imagine what happened. Both the house and the children were a wreck. They hitting and shoved each other and trashed the house in pursuit of the hidden treasures. Bruised skin and hobbling feelings resulted.
10. Encourage gentle play
Watch the toddler who habitually bangs toys, bashes dolls, kicks cats, and pounds on walls. While some of this acting out is normal, information technology tin be a ruby-red flag for tension and anger. The kid is at risk of treating humans this way. Likewise delving into the roots of the trouble, encourage more gentle play: "Hug the bear," "Pet the kitty," "Honey the doll."
11. Reward positive beliefs
Children over three respond well to rewards, such every bit a no-striking chart: "Every day y'all are dainty to your friends, put a happy face on the chart. When you have three happy faces we'll go out to tiffin together."
12. Program cocky-command
Some impulsive children hitting before they think. For children over three, help them control these impulses by suggesting substitute behaviors that the kid clicks into at the showtime thought of hitting: "Equally soon equally y'all feel like hitting, grab a pillow and pound on information technology or get run around the yard." You tin can model impulse control for your kid. For example, side by side fourth dimension you experience like hitting, let your kid see you recall your style out of it. Grab your hand and talk to it: "Now, hand, you should not hit people." He'll pay attention, especially if he's the one you felt like hitting.
13. Utilise double discipline
When hitting becomes disrespectful and undermines your authority, it deserves a double-dose of correction from Mom and Dad. Four-twelvemonth-old Timmy got angry and hit his mother. She immediately sabbatum him downwardly, looked him squarely in the optics, and impressed on him that under no circumstances was he e'er to hit his parents; that beliefs was intolerable and would exist firmly corrected. She sent him to his room. After this time-out, they talked almost his anger. Later that mean solar day she shared this incident with her husband who had a talk with Timmy. He reinforced the seriousness of this situation and told Timmy that it would not be tolerated: "I will not allow you to striking the woman I love." This wise father got some extra mileage out of his discipline by communicating his feelings for his wife.
14. Supervise actively to minimize biting and hitting
It's neither off-white nor safe to allow aggressive toddlers to play with potential victims in close quarters without a parent on watch. If your kid is aggressive, share your concern with the other parents or teachers in the playgroup, and seek their assistance in tempering your child's aggressive behavior. Don't hesitate to tell them well-nigh the problem. Yous tin bet they accept also struggled through an aggressive phase with their ain children. Your candidness shows your concern for the other children. Otherwise, aggression, peculiarly biting, may destroy friendships. The parents of a biter are embarrassed, while the parents of the bite are aroused that their child has been hurt. The biter'southward parents go blamed for the child'southward misbehavior ("bad parents of a bad kid"), and the adult friendship cools.
Teachers and twenty-four hours-care providers also demand to be vigilant in supervising the aggressive kid, lest this attitude infect the whole group. In a grouping setting children learn what is socially acceptable behavior. If they see and feel that ambitious behavior is tolerated — especially if the biter is in the spotlight ("Lookout out, he's a biter") — they choice up on this label and may effort making it office of their repertoire. While the aggressor's behavior requires immediate attention, be careful not to give the other children the thought that this is the way to get attention. Be sure to find opportunities to praise the other children for their skilful behavior.
For more information on biting and hitting, read The Field of study Book: How to Have a Better-Behaved Kid From Birth to Historic period 10, or visit our website
Source: https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/bothersome-behaviors/biting-and-hitting-16-ways-stop-it/
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